Tuesday, October 11, 2011

A relief

   So I actually only put on a few ounces from last nights binge/purge. Im not even up a pound! Im still 129. I'm so releived. But Im still fasting. Still going to excercise. My new goal is to be the thinnest! So no more excuses. I have to be strict on myself, if I wanna look good in my wedding dress and pictures and stuff. I want my fiance to be proud of me. Not cringe and be ashamed of my chubbiness.

   Speaking of which. Do any of you feel so numb and emotionless the morning after a purge? My fiance was like cheer-up, blah blah blah. I wasnt sad. I was very happy at staying the same weight and all. I just felt (and still do) emotionless. Maybe it's loss of energy/ because I'm fasting? That must be it...

   Ah, well, i'll try my best to atleast act happy/normal. Love you guy's!

Monday, October 10, 2011

129.3 and ummmm

I was 129.3 pounds this morning! :)

Then me and fiance got into a huge fight, in which several family members got involved. But its all cool now.

I am binging on sandwich cookies right now as I type this.

Tonight I puke it all up as soon as the bathroon is free.

Tomarow I am doing a 48 hour water fast + jumping a lot of rope, because I bought a jump rope after reading that its great excercise. And other calorie burning activities. When I went to pick up my cousin from school today I felt kinda weak. I want to feel that way again sooo bad! Maybe I'll even fast longer than 48 hours, we shall see.

That is all. And thank you so much to the one and only comment that i got for my last post. Lovely Bones, I really appreciate it. Sometimes just a few words can be so helpful....

P.S = Fuck my life ,, cuz its been 30 minx and the bathroom iz still buzy and i take my fucking birth control at this time. This is the worst day ever. I cant wait to starve....:( *edit* I just got back from purging. I totally blocked their toilet. I had such a great weigh-in but this day sucked!! I hope the next 2 days in which i will be fasting will go by better ...:)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Pleasant surprises...

    So yesturday I had two fiber bar's after dinner, and I was freaking out that I might have gained. The wedding is less than 3 weeks away... (Unexpected stuff keeps postponing it, which is fine by me, because that means more time to drop more pounds!). 

    But, lo-and behold, I actually lost a few ounces. (Dont even ask how gassy I was through out thru-out the night and morning, omg)..lol. But now I'm fine, and very pleased with not maintaining but actually, but with seeing the lower numbers. I allowed myself a small breakfast after this.

    But man, why do I still feel soooooo fat??? Excersise. I need excersise.... I'm gunna go for a walk soon...or atleast do some yoga in my room...lol --anything to burn some calories around here.

    Thank you all so much for sticking with me, until I could see the 120's. I never thought I could even manage this, but this just go's to show that anything is possible, you just need the drive!!! I wish you all a skinny tuesday/wednesday for now, and please wish me the same in your lovely little hearts...

Ciao, for now.....xoxoxox