Wednesday, September 28, 2011



Now let's see how much farther I can go. You can never be too rich or too skinny ;)

hey again...

   Last morning's weigh-in had me at 130.2 pounds. That's a whole pound loss! I havent seen this number since I was 13 years old! Im 20 btw. I think it was the swimming that helped.

    I have also just started on the birth-control pill "Levora". Have any of you guy's been on this same pill? Or have you any horrible weight gain stories from other birth control pills? I've read ton's on the web >.< It's been 3 day's only taking it so far, and so far so good. I'm so scared of gaining more than 4 pounds from it, that now I've gotten super strict on calulating my intakes and making sure I'm alway's active and not on my lazy ass all day. I dont want kid's for another 7 years or so, hehehe. I work so hard too keep myself thin, I dont want to ruin it all with a baby. Just not yet.

    I'm so close to the 120's I can allmost taste it! (no pun intended). I don't even remember the last time I was in the 120's. I honestly dont. That's how long it's been...

    Had a discussion with the fiance about why my eating disorder makes me so sad, and feel like I am the worst person in the world sometimes. I even told him how I'd lost 19-20 pounds since febuary (about the time we really began to get seriouse). I told him I had even brought a scale with me across the states in my suitcase. After bearing my soul, I cried.

    Afterall, at the end of the day, I cant help but to have the scale measure my happiness for the day.

    He was just like, that's 9 kg's lost. And I was like i guess. And then he went on to blame my parent's for my eating problem's. Which is so like men. To find the source of the problem and to fix it. Fix it right away. He told me, he'd promise to love me no matter what. Let's wait and watch.

    I tried to comment back on all of your blogs. The one's on my feed, and to those lovely gal's who commented on my last post...Sorry if I didnt. It's getting kinda late here, and I'll let you all know about the wedding as it get's nearer. Yes, there wil be pictures :) Thank You all for your wishes!!!!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

It could have been worse...

    Last night I decided I was doing really good, and that now would be the perfect time for a binge. (NOT). Well the thing is, and I know I need to work on this, is that I am a very emotional eater. My visa to another country hasnt come back yet. And if my visa doesnt come back, neither does my passport, and if my passport doesnt come back, I'm not getting married until I get a replacement passport, and no marraige, no kids, no happily ever after. Just Kidding. But seriously, they said it would only take 5 days. It has been now close to 9 days!!! So the stress built up and I binged. But I purged a little bit. As much as I could.

    I hate purging in other people's homes, especially the lovely new in-laws home.

    Well I should mention that I had had nothing but barely 100 calories all day, and was all day shopping in a ridiculouse amount of heat. Yeah yeah no excuses.

    So today, I fasted until about 3pm. Just had a snack, and aunty is making dinner. Because I dont want to hurt her feelings, I'll have to eat it. Pooey. But I just got back from learning how to swim. Yes learning. For the first time. I am 20 years old, and I am now being taught how to swim by my 5 year old cousin. We were out there for a good 2 hours, so I hope I burned some seriouse calories.

    I also learned that my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) is about 1450 calories. That's how many calories I would expend just by being alive and staying in bed all day. Somehow, I find this hard to believe.

    Thats all for now. Love you guys <3

Friday, September 23, 2011

It's been age's!

    Hi guys! Wow, I havent posted since about July 20th or so! Well, I did move out of the house, with two suitcases to another state, and now I'm living with my fiance's family, until our wedding which will be in about 2 weeks or so!!! So, I've been a bit busy, and flustered. That's why, no time to post, but I swear I have been keeping up with some of my favorite blogs, and now that I'm in a better frame of mind, I will also start commenting more too! (Yay, for high speed internet at my in-laws~!)

   Weight-loss wise I've lost a measly 2 pounds since my last post. So, now I'm 131. But I'm not sad about this at all, because this is my lowest weight that I've attained in the past through restricting! (Although last time, bulimia ruined it all, but not this time!!!)

  My goal for my wedding day is to be in my 120's. I think I can do it. I have a 5 year old neice who keeps me active and an aunt who loves to shop. So I barely ever have time to eat much. Even my aunt has noticed that I dont eat much. And I'm the only vegetarian in the house as well. Ah, all the foods i dont have to eat, thanks to vegetarianism! I love it! I'm only vegetarian for diet reasons, not religous, and I guess I have a soft spot for animals too...

   I dont think I'm that thin. My niece was like you dont drink enough milk, that's why your so skinny. And little kids say the truth, even if its brutal. (Not that this was brutal, but you know what I'm saying, atleast I hope you do).

   Oh, and also, I hope you guy's like the new layout...:)

That's it for now, Love You Guys!! <3