Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Slow and Steady?...

Hey all you dangerously hot skinny minnies! I haven't been posting much because their hasnt been much to say... I worked out till I thought I waz gonna die on saturday, but I have yet to see the 130's, (grrrrrrrrrrrr....). Whatever I guess.. This weight loss thing seems to happening at a much slower pace then when it did last time..

I think for me personally it's all in the blood sugar you know? My mom (and most of her family are all diabetic's, so this isn't really surprising to me, how the other day, i ate absolutely nothing untill 3pm, then binged/purged out on oatmeal and some spicey-shit, can anyone say ow..?) So lesson here: keep the blood sugars as steady as possible, so i dont end up binging like a cow.

I will be better, i have to be better.. I'm practically perfect in all other area's of my life but my body. Help me Ana. Thanks for everyone's support! Love you all!!!...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Like a Roller Coaster

Thats what my lifes been like this past week. But in the end it all turned out ok.. and I am now 140!!! I cant beleive it! l'll be seeing the 130's so soon..! (I thought this waz supposed to be hard, but im like losing a pound allmost every other day it seems!!! )

It's so true what a lot of bloggers say, that after you start restricting, it starts to feel like you need to restrict more and more... I even feel like if I eat my favorite food (chocolate), it will stick to my thighs or something..! Even a tiny little piece seems like too much.

Well whatever it takes I'll get to the 120's and even then some...! I have a good feeling about this! Like, im already ahead of the schedule I had planned out for myself... Happy, Happy, Happy!

Bye for now, and remember: "nothing tasts as good as skinny feels..." !

Monday, September 21, 2009

Why Hello there...

Hmmm.. wat to say.? How about "life's is being a seriouse bitch right now"?... Can't even enjoy my weightloss when it decides to come because of this stupid thing called my life. Wish I could explain, but i wont bore you with the boring, sad, and mediocrity of it all...

Wieght loss wise, I am now 142.0, which is basically in my head is 141, pretty much, (just go the bathroom once and it'll be, watever..) Yah so I finally figured out how to add pictures on this thing... And at your right you'll see a pic of urs truly.. This was actually taken a while ago, I mite update it...

The trouble with losing wieght and being naturally big boned is this..= It's f#$%ing harder to lose weight and the people around you notice it so much quicker. "You should eat something Raz, look at how your bones are popping out!" So basically because of my bones , i've have't even seen the 120's.. Like the closest I got waz 131... And I looked like a walking bag of bones, but the scale always felt like it waz telling me= "No not enough, not enough, look at this number, dont listen to ur parents or freinds, listen to me.." So now I will. Im big boned. But I will also be thin.

Thin+Naturally big bones= I think I can deal with that... =)

Bye for now you gorgy porgy's... !!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Feeling the tables turning..

Hey, I just lost another stubborn pound! Hahahaahahaahaha! ... I thank my new found crush.. he's amazing! =D.. Really! It's like I dont even have an appetite any more!!!.. wtf?!.. Well whatever it is, it's working! .. So a little tip, fall in love! It'll make u more consoiuse of urself!!! (cant spell, can u tell?).. Especially if the guy (or girl)- is way skinnier than u...

Cant have fat old me, seen with a skinny hot dude, now can I?!!! Ahhh, wowz...

Eye's now covered with rose colored glasses, and nothing is tasting as good as this crush (love?).. feels...
(sorry corny i know!! lolz..)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Feeling in Control

Hey everyone, as the tittle suggests lately i've been feeling really good about my intake! I have'nt binged or purged, so i guess im proud of that. The only problem seems to be the exercise. Like a lot of people i just cant exercise as much as I'd like... Also when I eat less, the desire to exersice also go's down.. :(

Wieghtloss i think is happening. I didnt really have a solid plan about intake at first, but now-a-days my will power is so strong, im just going to try eating as less as possible, while at the same time trying not to have the dreaded binge-purging that usually comes after starving.. I think it's harder 4 my body to lose wieght because after i had lost so much last year and gained some back, my body doesnt seem to want to let go of this f#*$g FAT!!!, oh well.. ooh, and also on a side note: The Biggest Loser is back!, I find that show awesome reverse thinspo..

Just trying to burn more than i consume, and loven' the emptyness... The scale will follow...
Peace out! Stay Strong ladies!

Friday, September 11, 2009

If only they knew.

Hello there again guys.. i swear, where wud i b without u guys? It's like really helpfull because when im about to go for more food or something or if im too lazy to exercise... i have u guys in the back in of my mind. It's hard to explain.. Anywhoo.

Well this weird thing happened the other day. I got called fat by this guy.. I know he meant it in a joking way but still. I made some smart remark back, but he kept saying it. I felt like shit though... He's fatter than me for godsakes!!! Even though he's just a guy and most guys dont get it, it's still like u should really shut up u know? If he knew all the fucking issues i've had with food and how im not even completely over them. But im not one to share my secrets with A-holes.. It made me want to eat more at first because i waz pissed. But now, his remarks are only really helping me to work harder. It waz kinda like just the thing to really get me seriouse.

So thanks jerkface! And bring on the critism(s)! =)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

And slowly she'll get there...

Well im sure u guys must have noticed that the days of summer and all the insecuritys that come along with it are going to be leaving us.. finally! Have u noticed that it's easier to lose wieght in the fall-winter seasons? It is for me anyways...

Wat kinda ticks me off a lot , is how my stupid body decided to get fat at all the wrong moments... I waz perfectly fine.. happy and thin at the beginning of the year.. then stupid mia came along, then bada bing bada bang just in time for spring the fuckin' pounds crept up on me.. And near the end of the school year i waz always soooo into my mia act (because of major last year of high school stress), i waz always so bloated and depressed all the time.. Perfect timing because the hottest guy i had ever laid my eyeballs on came into my life at precisely this time. W T F???!!! He never got to see the thin, fabulouse, amazingly beautifull REAL me...

Because the real me had always been hidden "behind the fat"... :( But i swear to anyone who cares and/or reads this blog... I SWEAR, today that i will get there again soon!

Luv u allz! :)

Friday, September 4, 2009

It could be worse

Hey everyone! It's me again. Wieghtloss-wise, not much to report.. because i binge-purged a few times during moments of extreme stress, its easy to see why that would be.. But as the title of this post suggests "It could be worse".. i could have gained for instance, but thankfully i didnt and now im being a good little girl and sticking to it! It's so scary how someone else seems to take over during a binge-purge session... So freagin' hypnotic and weird! I'll try to keep it at bay...

And just stay IN CONTROL!!!!.. (i just need to remind myself sometimes and what better place to do it then here?)..

Stay strong everyone! Best of luck! =)