Scary dreams that might become reality

In it, nobody wanted to go out wih me, because they said i was too fat. :(

If thats not scary enough to scare you out of fatdom, i dont know what is.

On a side note. Its winter here, and maybe thats why im feeling kind sad. It could also be because of the break-up. Itproably is. Before I used to numb the saddness with food, but thats kinda dumb sooo. Im taking a multi-vitaminwith lots of vitamin D, because it's supposed to help with things like seasonal deppresion. Im feeling just so melancholy...guess its just that time of year.

Downtown Seattle in the evenings, around this time of year is so beauifull.  Still have got some christmas shopping left to do! eeps....:P

So far so good. I've been following the old plan, i used to follow when i was seriouse about shedding pounds. But I'm too scared to weight myself. All in due time.

A lot of you guys are getting sick i've noticed. Take care of yourselves guys!
And thank Zette and Astone....:D

I want to know happiness again...

I need this blog now more than ever.

I have BALOONED. Thanks, to breaking up and making up with my stupid boyfreind. Depression. Sadness. Plus a good frend of mine allmost convinced me to get a doctors help. But our family's insurance doesnt start until January, and I dont think I could even do that. Tell the doctor I mean. I dont want to be the broken bulimic daughter, or a freakin loony.

I want perfection. I have to get better in order to achieve my dreams. And by better i mean thinner ...


But as we all know, we cant change the past.


We can only change the here and now.


And that is what  am going to do.

CHANGEEEEEE!!!!! New years is coming up again. This is my headstart week to get back into the thin game. Thinness doesnt make you cry, or break your heart, like some stupid boyfreinds do. 

I love you ana, and blog, and folowers. This time i really am back...


**you can never be too thin or too rich