new motto: "I wanna be so skinny, that I'm never compared to a fat person again..."

Catherine Mc'Neal, someone once said I looked a bit like her,, now she's my favorite model...:) (all these pix are of her...enjoy)

Stay Strong ladies, your stronger than you think are...!!!

Awards!!!!!

Oh peri,,*facedesk* :D Thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to pass it on to her...!

I also wanted to thank *Hazel*, over at Thinner than Yesturday, for giving me this award!!!! :

Can you believe I've just now figured out how add pictures like this? I am sloooowwww ....

Well the rules of this award, say that I have to:

1. Thank the person who loved you enough to bestow this gift- Done! :)

2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Bestow this honor onto 10 newly discovered or followed bloggers– in no particular order– who are fantastic in some way.
4. Drop by and let your ten new friends know you admire them.
 
Here's 7 things about your's truly...:
 
1.) I am super insecure and possesive in relationships. And thats an understatement, just ask my boyfreind, i dont know how he puts up with me :D
 
2.) I was born in Canada, but raised in America, Im indian (from india), by ethnicity.
 
3.) I am 100% lacto-ovo vegetarian, since about 10h grade, (for religouse, moral and health reasons).
 
4.) I am going to be a novelist some day. Preferably one that rivals J.k Rowling and Stephanie Meyers'.
 
5.) I have yet to get into any type of vehicle collision, (i've had my drivers licence for 3 years now).
 
6.) I used to weigh about 187 pounds at the age of 13, with a height of 5'3". SMH...
 
and last but not least numero 7 : I plan on leaving my family in August, to marry the man I love, while leaving only a note behind. They are super strict Indian parents and would never want me in a "love marraige", especailly with a guy of a different religion. I dont hate my family but i do think that they are painfully controlling and that led to a lot of my horrible spells of bulimia and binge eating and depression. And they'll come around someday... I reassure myself that i have control this way, and that i can live as an adult (im legally an adult after all!). I'm chasing my dreams, because at the end of the day, aren't they what keep us truly live?
 
And now, 10 newly discovered or followed blogs that I think are awesomsauce, (in no particular order):
 
1.) Hazel (not really a newly discoverd blog, but rules are made to be broken). You are even stronger than me and a lot of people I know...
2.) Zette
3.) Vagabond at "The Monsters are back from the Night" they said. Then it rained sea water from my eyes.
4.) Battle in mind
5.) Lillie Flower
6.) Chubbie Cupcake
7.) A
8.) Peace Love Skinny
9.) Starving myself pretty
10.) The hungry Caterpilla
 
You guys rock!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 

I think this here is called a platau...

Platauing and a bit frustrated.

Thanks "battleinmind", for your lovely comment...I hope too, that someday that we will all have enough confidence to stop comparing our selves to others so much ..

This is day 2 of not binging. Had a great 30 minute jog yesturday in the evening, along with the fast. (I didnt feel at all like jogging without having eaten, but it felt great!).

Life is good here in seattle, the sun is out. I wish I had a workout buddy or something, it gets kind of lonely counting calories on my own.

A freind of mine asked how i lost weight, she's just had a baby. And I told her how to count calories, etc...It felt good though. That someone was asking me for advice. Like maybe, I am doing something right. Im really not trying to become underweight or unhelathy. On the contrary, I like to think of my self as a healthy living advocate, and Im vegetarian too! lol, have been for about 5 years now...

And this post is all over the place right now, just rambly rambled ....

Stay Strong Chica's and Chico's!!! :D

Jealousy

As of late, I've been more jealouse then usual. Of girls who happen to be thinner and/or prettier than me. Tell me why, I just feel so angry when I see them? No, not angry. More like frustration. So much frustration, I'm letting it get to me, grrr... Yestuday I b/ped (tottally not planned, cause I'd been doing so well, I thought one binge woud be ok. But then I woke up the next morning, I hadnt gained a pound, but there was no decent food in the house. 

So we went food shopping. Saw, an eviously skinny chick with the most gorgouse chocolaty brown hair , (im not lesbian, but she was really pretty). And then immediatly started comparing her to me. She was the same height as me, but a good 25 pounds or so lighter..grrr lol...

And then, and I dont why i do this either, but I start to wonder if their so many girls better looking than me out there, my boyfreind might regret marrying me this coming august...Im scared you guys.

The pressure is too much.

After food shopping, I b/ped again. But didnt manage to purge up as much last nights, that happens. I dont care, I plan on fasting tomorow and working this frustraion off. Im also going to post, everyday, to allow me to keep track of how many days i'v gone without binging! So tomarow will be day one, and so on.

To end on a good note, my boyfreind did happen to tell me once that: "whether you believe it or not. There’s billion’s of pretty girls out there. But I only want you...."

And that is why I'm lucky.

But still, this is for my self!!! This is for skinny jeans, bikini's and bones, For enviouse glances, twords meeeeeeeee!!!!...Stay strong people!!!! <3

Im loooosssiinggg!!!

It's nothing short of a miracle to me anyway...

What one of the bloggers wrote recently really got to me She wrote "Their is no such thing as big boned, thats just an excuse". I think before I was using this excuse a lot and, using my saddness as an excuse to eat. A lot of people do that. What we have to remember is that, and this is crucial:

EATING MAKES YOU FEEL WORSE!!!

And since the beggining of febuary, i have lost 9 pounds already, and I'm on a roll...
Bone's, skinny jeans and bikini's here I come!!!
We can do this!!!
ttyl...