Monday, August 31, 2009

Not Giving up this easily!!

Hello my my fellow ana and mia and also ednos (?) sisters!!! Writing on this blog is like a huge exhale... compared to the crap i've been dealing with at home.. so much so that i fell asleep crying one night and even (yes i know, it WONT happen again!) , tryed to suffocate myself with a grocery bag.. how sad am i? Really sad.. and i dont wont any of you strong women to get depressed or anything but the thought that kept repeatedly going through my head was: "you probably ask me why i want to die, i ask you-what is there to live for?'... wat is there to look forword to? ecxept the ordinary, ecxept the teasing, taunts, arguments.. the good things seem so limited now.. This, (meaning my secret world of calorie counting, purging, over-exercising, and blogging), for right now is where i find myself turning to.

I just wish there was some place you know? To escape.. With out having having to live, with out having to die.. just some place.. (and please dont suggest drugs =)haha.. I guess for now, that someplace else is right here. In this diary-like blog right here, right now..

Good news though! I am now 144! Havn't seen that number in a long time!!!! Whoo! We makin' SOME progress!!!! ********** Best of luck and lots of love to everyone! =)************


  1. I wish there was a place like that too.. i wish we could just stop time and breathe!..
    oh honey i dont know what going on in ur life but please hold on and be strong!.. everything will get better, everything gets better in time.. u just have to be a little patient!..
    im here 4 u

  2. I've felt that way, too.... a few days ago I sat in my bed staring at a bottle of pills, crying my eyes out because I wanted to take them so badly... :(

    be strong, girl! If you need anything, I'm just a click away :)