I have decided...

hey guyz, sorry i've been gone so long, when i read my comments yesturday i was flabergasted by how amazing you guys are! Absolutly flabergasted. (Allmost 200 followers? whhaaaa??? huuh? ok ..lol) And during my absense,  have managed to again hold on to that elusive control! (I just 10 mins ago came back from the kitchen, after fighting my fat little greedy fingers from going aywhere near the junky stuff. I am proud of myself. The weight will come by itself, I just need that control back. Keeing in mind, I am trying to be a bit healthier about this stuff I have new rules:

1.) No binging+no purging. >.< , you can eat till your comfortably satisfied, like once or twice a monh to keep your metabolism up(we are all human ), but no B/p!!! No

2.) one day fast mandatory for anytime that you binge! But you wont binge, so this shoudnt be problem. RIGHT!!???

3.) 1500 cals is your max. You can by all means eat less, but thats the limit. I calculated my bmr+my daily activity, and according to it, if i stick to this, i will always have a deficit of something!

4.) 30+ mins of exercise everyday.

Simple rules, there arent many. I'm not going to let anything get me down. Im going to get to point where I used to be comfortable sharing my weight again. Remember those times? Yeah, I want that back so bad! :D

It'll happen, give in time.

In other news, I have decided that I will elope and get married to the man I love :P!!! :D. Im exited!! not yet ofcourse maybe in 2-3 years, im only 19! He's 18 now, our birthdays are 3 months apart, so for 3 months we are the same age, untill May comes again and then Im a year older lol. I remember a conversation we had a year ago, we were both virgins x_X, and he was like "where is it written that a 17 year old (him) cant f#*k a 18 yr old? (me)" lol. AndI told him, "umm in the law books, I could get aressted for raping you! ROFL :P". But yeah, we are crazy for each other :DD   (remember he's the one with the totally different religion, tee hee). We were talking one day, and to us, it only makes sense to marry the one that we are truly in love with are we right? So it only makes sense. And now adays my parents piss me off sooo bad, and my boyfreind is really well off and rich and stable already, I just want to get away as soon as i can you know?

My dad called me a mf-bI*$h. :( I've never really done anything wrong. Never did drugs, i dont have a baby like most of my freinds do already!!, I've always given up money when they needed it, I cook, I clean, Im polite, always got good grades in school, so wtf????!! I dont know why they treat me like this. My mom is so rascist, it breaks my heart. I have to get away. The day I was on my knee, holding a bottleof pills, writing suicide letters to him (the bf and my little sister), the only thing that kept me sane, was knowing how this would be so unfair for my boyfreind. He's why i didnt do it.  Lol, call me crazy, but I think my idiot parents will forgive me someday. What do you guys think? hmmm.. I love him a lot!

In the mean time I have got to get rich enough, (financailly more stable), thin thin thin, (bf is thin, he's trying to buff up, it's kind a cute lol), and become more independent. I feel they are only my parents in name now. I despise them. grrrrrr....

To love!!!! :DDD <3