Past few days have been spent in a rush of mood swings, binging, purging, fasting, hating my self everything that comes along with having an e.d... FUCK ME.
My wieght has gone up. 140.2 as of this morning. I hate my self. Mia, I thot I told you to go away.
And so, today I am going to try again. To gain some control. Find it. It's there somewhere.
Im just so sad. Hopeless. I love you all. You dont even know me, but you all are so supportive. There's no hope. I find myself just breathing. I guess the reason I've been sabotoging myself lately, is so that I could feel something. Anything. Even if it meant guilt. I wanted to numb myself.
I wont give up, I will keep trying. Hope is slipping though. I am grasping, fighting for the control.
Stay Strong, (i will try to as well)...