Sunday, December 13, 2009

Well I have a blog, so I should post.. here it go's

I feel more disgusted, fat, and more of failure now, (at 136-sh pounds), than I did when I was 10 pounds heavier. When I was binging-purging a few days before, I was asking myself at the time, why I was undoing all my hard work, and letting it all go to waste. My excuse: Im depressed. I thought; "to hell with it, it's not like Im a model or actress or someone who has to be perfect all the time. To hell with it, it's not like anyone cares or gives a damn.."

But I've discovered since then, that that isnt true. Someone does care. Some people do care. The people reading this blog care. I dont know who they are, but I can relate to them, and know that I am not alone. I could take the easy way out, become fat, and stop caring about what I look like. I might as well just die, because then I'd have become even more deppressed.

No. No, I've found that I have to live. For something. I cant tell you what it is yet. But I just know that I have to keep going. And better to live Pro-ana and striving for perfection, than as a sad i right?...

P.S: Have a new e-mail, just for this blog:, would love to hear from you, add me?

Make your dreams come true


  1. i believe in living without regrets. so if being thin and going through with this is worth it to you(its is for me) then yeah, i guess it is better to be pro ana and thin than a sad
    stay strong


  2. i feel like that i still feel just as if not more disgustingly fat as i did when i was 137lbs

    but i realised th other day set backs are fine as long as you keep going and never give up i never expected to get here but i did because i kept going

  3. I think we all go through that stage where we constantly think I might aswell not bother (I know I do frequently), but u shldn't give up!
    Your right, nobody wants 2 be a sad fatty but a thin woman!
    Stay strong, and just remember we're all on this journey together and you're doing very well so far, keep going!
    Lorella x