Ha! I was about to type my weight for the day 173 instead of 137,,teeheehee, no ways man, I am so not going back there again.
So yesturday, there was cheese cake. White, crumbly, soft **fattening*** cheesecake. Yes. I ate it. Yes, I purged untill my eyeballs felt like they were going pop out. No, I did not enjoy it at all. (But proud of myself that i was able to get it up at all). While I was eating it, I felt so scared, it's hard to explain. Heart thumping, arguments raging in my head, I almost thought I was going crazy. Ana's voice always seems loudest when you're screwing up, why is that?
Anyblue... Im losing weight, Im over my plataue, and I didnt gain anything from that cheesecake pinge, so all is well. Im a good lyer, I learned just yesturday.
My mother asks: "did you have your dinner"?
Me: "uhhh, yeeeeaahhh"
Mom:" It was delicouse wasnt it, i put blah blah blah in it and so much effort, blah blah blah.."
Me: "Yep!, I especally loved the ______" (What ever it was she made..lol)
I should be an actor :)
Im going to try and not weigh myself so much, so that I can be pleasantly surprised by lower and lower numbers. And plus, I hate undressing to wiegh myself, in this cold, rainy and depressing city. I think I read somewhere that Seattle is one of the most depressing city's on earth. Hmmm, Im not surprised...
Not much else to say, I hope you are all doing well, whether you are ana, mia, ednos, or blessidly normal...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooooooooooo "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"-Kate Moss
omg i had to throw an entire cheesecake away just last week because otherwise i would have scarfed it down. im still not able to get everything up when i purge so to play it safe i told my boyfreind that it fell out of the fridge onto the floor.lol im not the best at lying about food yet but im getting there. i just passed my plateau too! go us!*****those are fireworks.
ReplyDeleteyou sound like your doing good, keep up the good work.
meg
every ime i'm at the dinner table, or considering eating, I always pinch bottom of my stomach whilst I sit down. That completely turns you off food, I assure you!
ReplyDeletethink thin babe, and keep up the good work!
xx.
ah cheesecake. it's hard to resist. i'm sure you'll think back on this "pinge" and resist it next time.
ReplyDeletei've always wanted to go to seattle. the pacific northwest seems like a neat place... but definitely a bit too cold for my liking. eh, i'm spoiled by southern california's perfect weather. a change of scenery would help me build character lol
-summer
oh good grief. cheese cake. Nice avoiding with your mum! stay strong
ReplyDelete~creative
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