Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Happy November! =)

So, last few days have been really good, but I'm still stuggling with the dinner time munchies. It's allmost as if my body know's that this is the last time it will get food for the day, and it try's to shove as much as it can down my throat. CONTROL. Control is the goal.

Also I've decided to only wiegh myself on Saturday's. That's when the weight loss competition wiegh in is as well. I am the kinf of girl who normally weigh's herself obsessivly every morning, and sometimes at nights. So lets see how this go's. Everyone will know my wieght, when I finally get to know it as well.

I find that when Im doing well, (restricting and exercising), I dont have much to say on this blog... hmmm. So if I dont post, you should take that as a good sign..hehehe.

Bought 2-3 pairs of new jeans. They fit buuuut, just being able to button and zip is just not good enogh for me, you know? I will only feel comfortable when they sag, ever so slightly, (and clothes can shrink in the wash! eeps!)...

I hate how Im so small on top, and huge on bottom. Everything I eat, go's to my thighs.. *sigh*, even the last time I was 131, the hips and thighs are always the last to go..! I hate it!!!

I want to evetually wiegh less than my little sister, and be able to wear her jeans. That would mean, I actually have accomplished something on this quest of thinness. My sister, I really love her. Through all my fad diets, bulimia, and now barely eating and exercising like a maniac, she has never called me fat. She has never said: those jeans make your butt look big.

She is smaller, and prettier than me, but never once has she ever made fun of me, or any fat person. I'm going to try and take a leaf out of her book, and try to be the same way. I also have to keep my ways secret, because the last thing I want, is for my sister to end up like me: A weight-obsessed maniac, who's worth rely's on the numbers on the scale, (not really, but you know how important it is to us)...

So yeah, I hope you are all doing well, I love reading your blogs more than I like posting, lol...
Stay Strong everyone, the finish line is not far... (!)


  1. Your sister is so nice! I'll have to try to take that example to heart... Not that I ever ridicule people who are fat, but I think I could still be kinder in my own mind.

  2. Yeah, your sister sounds like a really sweet girl! Someone who loves you just for being you. And you sound like you are trying to be a role model to her, trying to shield her from body issues, as we all know how they can rule our lives. It sounds like you have a good relationship!!


  3. i know how you feel with the whole "uneven proportions" if it werent for my ginormous getto ass, i would be able to fit into a lot more clothes. i am very much the pear shape kinda gal, and bottom heavy is not what im striving for lol.im sure youll do great on your next weigh in though, you seem very strong to me. i would die if i had to wait till saturday to weigh myself. good luck and be strong.


  4. I understand how u feel.. my little sister and i used to be so close.. but then she noticed my weird not eating habits and now she is scared of me and we dont get along at all.. we fight all day and she is mean to me.. i think she is just afraid i could die or something..
    be careful with her, dont let her notice..

  5. My thighs hoard all my fat too. stupid legs. Thats awesome that you have some one that cares, really cares about the real you. Thats rare and precious.

  6. it would be a good idea to weigh yourself on Saturdays, that way the numbers will be smaller than if you did it every day. you’re so lucky to have your sister! I hope she doesn’t notice. Good luck! stay strong

  7. Your lucky you have such a sweet sis, I will seriously try to live by her example. And weighing yourself once a week is a good idea, it´s easyer to keep track of your weight loss and, you wont get so depressed by seeing the numbers go back and forth, like you would if your obsessive about weighing yourself. We know you can do it, just hang in there.

    Peace out<3