Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Hey everyone! Didnt post --waz super buzy, job hunting and all. And dealing with the stupid cravings of our best freind,, Mrs. Monthly. I just get super lazy and tired becuase of her. Hmmm, how lovely wouldnt it be if I just stopped getting her. Who cares what it would do to my fertility? Like they say, to me being thin is waaay more important to me than bieng healthy.

Im still stuck at 140, Im losing at a snails pace, but atleast I'm losing, and not gaining. You guys this is kind of weird, but Im like starting to hear something in my head. Like you know, that little voice inside your head that tells you to "put that _______ (insert name of whatever food) down, you fat ass", or the one that say's, "why are sitting down? why dont you burn some calories or something, you shameless gorger??!!"

Im starting to hear it louder and louder each and every day. And I love it.

I was watching an episode of the Tyra Banks show, and there was an episode on our societies ridicule of fat people, and why we do it. I happened to say out loud, "Yup, I don't care either if your fat or skinny, it should'nt matter".. . (worlds biggest hypocrite that I am). And my sister said, "Yes you do,,, you weigh your self everyday", and my brother chimed in , "Yah and you seem to eat less and less everyday". My little brother noticed. He's in the 8th grade. Why does he even care? My parents are noticing too... Hmm Im gonna have to start wearing clothe that make me look fatter I guess, lol. Its the good ol' collar bones again. They always give me away...

Ho hum pigs bum...

Luv U guyzzz... Stay Strong...  


  1. I have the voice too, though I haven't heard it properly in a while, sometimes it freaks me out, but you learn it's right to go with it, it knows whats best, be careful with your family. be discreet! it's hard I know, I'm trying too!

  2. keep listening to that voice! its ur best and only friend in this world! dont ever let it go!.. it will lead u to perfection! ur doing great!